There's this thing in Fiji called the Coconut Wireless. It is an amazing form of communication, that, like cell phones uses no telephone wires. Even better than cell phones, you don't even need towers, or phones, or...anything. Unfortunately with the Coconut Wireless, except for those expert users, you cannot control the items of information that are communicated; unless perhaps you spice up a meeting notice with a juicy bit of gossip.

My first experience with the Coconut Wireless occurred long ago, while I was still in my host village. The other Peace Corps Volunteers staying in the village and I were going to take a small 30 minute trek to the beach that followed the cane-train tracks. Alone. It turned out that my host mom (clearly an expert) was not thrilled at the idea of our solo venture, and using the Coconut Wireless, arranged an escort for us. When we reached the turn off to the beach, he was sitting there waiting. My host mom had not left her house, and yet the news and her request had traveled faster than we had. That's the incredible thing about the Coconut Wireless; it travels at lightening speeds through unseen channels. News travels far and wide before you even know that it left.

Now for my second encounter. As you might recall, I recently made a speaking blunder involving beautiful vaginas and wind. Well, lets fast forward a little from that day. I can't remember having told anyone aside from some fellow Peace Corps Volunteers, and I have basically pushed the incident out of my memory. I'm sitting outside the Provincial Office (aka, main government office for the district) in Sigatoka, about to go to a meeting encouraging villages to incorporate the environment into their 5 year plans. I am surrounded by mostly male Fijians, only one of whom I had met before. It's a pretty hot day, and there's not much talking. Suddenly, coming from behind me, I hear someone saying, in Fijian, "the vagina is beautiful." Hmm, I think, that's a weird coincidence. It is then repeated over and over and over, louder and louder. I realized that the phrase is being directed towards me, and I have never seen the man who is saying it before. Now, if it weren't for my previous blunder, it would probably be the sleaziest pick-up line ever attempted. I made eye-contact with him; my eyes giving him the "who are you-how do you know that story-do we really need to go into this now" look. Ignoring my silent request, he proceeded to repeat the story of my mistake to everyone attending the meeting. Everyone had a great laugh, and I'm sure my face turned shades of red that I didn't know existed. Now, how did this man who I have never ever spoken to in my life and has never seen my website learn about this story? Chalk it up to the mysterious and mystical Coconut Wireless.